A Good Suggestion for Me
I've never really been one to make New Year's resolutions.
Well, I take that back. I used to make resolutions. Back in high school, I remember dating a journal page with 01-01 and having great feelings of starting anew. There was something redemptive of a new year--new goals, new challenges, grand plans of doing things differently and better.
I probably often wrote something to the effect of, "Worry less." I say "probably" because I honestly can't remember (some effective resolutions, huh?) Anyway, what I do remember is straying from my handful of resolutions only about 3-4 weeks into the year.
So, I realized that resolutions weren't the most encouraging thing to make--simply because I didn't always stick to them. I like to think of them now as "good suggestions" for myself for the new year.
You're probably wondering why I'm talking about New Year's resolutions when we're almost 4 months into the year.
This year, it just kind of happened that I adopted a theme word for the year. I didn't set out to have one. It just kind of dropped into my world. It's something that I had talked about for awhile last year and discussed with friends--something that I wanted to be better at and integrate into our family, my marriage, my work. . .and with each passing month this year, it's become even more evident how vital of a "good suggestion" it is for my life.
Intentional. Being intentional. That's my word for the year.
Funny thing -- "intentional" is a bit like "resolution" in definition. Done by intention, resolve. . .
I have found it increasingly difficult to accomplish the things I want to accomplish. I have found that life seems to have sped by even faster than before---so much so, that when I fall into bed at night, I often think, "Now, what exactly did I do today? What did I check off on my To Do List?" Maybe it's a result of having two children. . maybe it's a result of being more type-A. . . maybe it's a result of working from home. . but then maybe not. Because everyone else I talk to--whether they are single, married, don't have children, have 8 children, work out of the home, work in the home--I have found that they encounter the same issues that I have. (My sweet friend, Kellie, recently posted about being intentional--go check it out if you have a second.)
It's no big surprise or major revelation, but life happens, whether I am being intentional about things or not. And, before I know it, two weeks have gone by, and I've just been doing the everyday things.
I saw an ad recently in a magazine. It was either for Sharpie, Post-It notes or Rice-A-Roni. (Sorry to the marketing team who created the ad. I really did like it. I was just so mesmerized with the idea of the ad that I didn't really look at what it was advertising!) Anyway, the entire page was filled with writing. It was like a page in a book. But, instead of paragraphs or a story, the phrases were things that fill a day. Things like, "Take the dog out. Empty the trash. Replace bag in trash can. Put oatmeal in microwave. Make lunches for school. Get children dressed. Retrieve clean socks from the dryer. Finish getting children dressed." You get the idea. But, it was a list for an entire day of all the things we do. All the everyday tasks that have to happen. I remember thinking, "Wow. Thank you. Thank you to someone for recognizing that life is insanely busy--too busy, really--and writing down all the things that fill a day. Thank you for making me feel a bit more normal and for validating my feelings."
I have realized how I have fallen prey to getting stuck in a rut. I have fallen prey to letting my agenda and the things I have to accomplish control me instead of me determining what's really important--and being intentional about those things.
I've told some friends recently that because life is so busy, when I do have 30 minutes of down-time, I have a hard time determining what to do because there is so much to choose from! I feel like I need additional to-do lists to tackle my To Do List.
I've also realized that part of my problem was trying to be all things, do all things and accomplish everything at a certain standard. No one had set any expectations for me besides me.
So, in the hustle and bustle of this stage of life--it all comes down to being intentional. What do we want to accomplish as a family? What are the values we are trying to instill in our children and how are we going about that? How are J and I encouraging each other in our marriage? How am I pursuing God? How am I cultivating my relationships with others? Somehow, those big, major questions were lost in the weekly and monthly shuffles of activity--somewhere between Print a year's worth of digital photos, Plan meals for the week, Go through mail, Send in application, Complete paperwork, Make appts. for children. . . .
Over the past years, as I have gotten older and have two children of my own, I've been especially struck with the importance of being intentional with family. I remember my grandmother (my dad's mom) writing to me when I was in college, telling me bits and pieces of her young adulthood and what she did, where she went, etc. I loved spending time with my grandma, loved being in her home, loved her cooking--but I wish I had spent more time as I grew up talking to her, not just about the frivolous things, but about her, her family, her childhood, my relatives. . . my heritage.
And, now I feel that same way about my parents. I want to soak up their words and learn about their younger years, their way of life, what they loved to do. Not too long ago, when I was home for a visit, my mom and I drove by her old house where she lived during her junior high school years. She drove me on the route she used to take when she walked to school with her sister. As we drove, we talked, and I remember at one point looking out the window and asking, "Were you still--" As if my mom knew exactly what I was going to ask, her answer was, "I was still walking here." And we had probably already driven a good mile or 1.5 miles already--one way!
Or, a few years ago during the Christmas holiday, J and I sat in my mom's basement and looked through her scrapbook from elementary school all the way through college. How fun to see pictures that my mom drew at the young age of 8, to study her penmanship and read her precious thoughts as a child, and to admire pictures of her smiling with a group of high school friends.
A few years ago, I was able to go through a lot of photographs of my dad when he was a little boy. I loved it. I loved seeing those black and white pictures of him, with his cowboy hat on, or a football clutched under his arm or posing next to my grandmother. I wish I could press play on a tape recorder and hear my dad describe those pictures--where he was, what he was doing, how much that football cost not to mention an ice cream cone. . .
Those are the things I want to be intentional about--cataloging my family's history, learning about my relatives. And, spending time with them now. One of our dear, dear family friends used to always tell my mom when I was little, "It's later than you think." I can appreciate that comment even more now.
I know that the everyday things have to happen---making the pb&j sandwiches, folding the laundry, sorting through the mail and taking care of paperwork, driving to appointments--but I am trying to be more intentional, more purposeful about the things that last. People. Relationships.
So, when Carly runs into the kitchen at 7 pm (when I'm doing dishes and trying to finish the kitchen clean-up) and says, "Mommy, come dance with me!!"--instead of always saying "Just a minute, honey, I need to finish this," I'm learning to leave the dishes stacked in the sink and do what's most important.
Well, I take that back. I used to make resolutions. Back in high school, I remember dating a journal page with 01-01 and having great feelings of starting anew. There was something redemptive of a new year--new goals, new challenges, grand plans of doing things differently and better.
I probably often wrote something to the effect of, "Worry less." I say "probably" because I honestly can't remember (some effective resolutions, huh?) Anyway, what I do remember is straying from my handful of resolutions only about 3-4 weeks into the year.
So, I realized that resolutions weren't the most encouraging thing to make--simply because I didn't always stick to them. I like to think of them now as "good suggestions" for myself for the new year.
You're probably wondering why I'm talking about New Year's resolutions when we're almost 4 months into the year.
This year, it just kind of happened that I adopted a theme word for the year. I didn't set out to have one. It just kind of dropped into my world. It's something that I had talked about for awhile last year and discussed with friends--something that I wanted to be better at and integrate into our family, my marriage, my work. . .and with each passing month this year, it's become even more evident how vital of a "good suggestion" it is for my life.
Intentional. Being intentional. That's my word for the year.
Funny thing -- "intentional" is a bit like "resolution" in definition. Done by intention, resolve. . .
I have found it increasingly difficult to accomplish the things I want to accomplish. I have found that life seems to have sped by even faster than before---so much so, that when I fall into bed at night, I often think, "Now, what exactly did I do today? What did I check off on my To Do List?" Maybe it's a result of having two children. . maybe it's a result of being more type-A. . . maybe it's a result of working from home. . but then maybe not. Because everyone else I talk to--whether they are single, married, don't have children, have 8 children, work out of the home, work in the home--I have found that they encounter the same issues that I have. (My sweet friend, Kellie, recently posted about being intentional--go check it out if you have a second.)
It's no big surprise or major revelation, but life happens, whether I am being intentional about things or not. And, before I know it, two weeks have gone by, and I've just been doing the everyday things.
I saw an ad recently in a magazine. It was either for Sharpie, Post-It notes or Rice-A-Roni. (Sorry to the marketing team who created the ad. I really did like it. I was just so mesmerized with the idea of the ad that I didn't really look at what it was advertising!) Anyway, the entire page was filled with writing. It was like a page in a book. But, instead of paragraphs or a story, the phrases were things that fill a day. Things like, "Take the dog out. Empty the trash. Replace bag in trash can. Put oatmeal in microwave. Make lunches for school. Get children dressed. Retrieve clean socks from the dryer. Finish getting children dressed." You get the idea. But, it was a list for an entire day of all the things we do. All the everyday tasks that have to happen. I remember thinking, "Wow. Thank you. Thank you to someone for recognizing that life is insanely busy--too busy, really--and writing down all the things that fill a day. Thank you for making me feel a bit more normal and for validating my feelings."
I have realized how I have fallen prey to getting stuck in a rut. I have fallen prey to letting my agenda and the things I have to accomplish control me instead of me determining what's really important--and being intentional about those things.
I've told some friends recently that because life is so busy, when I do have 30 minutes of down-time, I have a hard time determining what to do because there is so much to choose from! I feel like I need additional to-do lists to tackle my To Do List.
I've also realized that part of my problem was trying to be all things, do all things and accomplish everything at a certain standard. No one had set any expectations for me besides me.
So, in the hustle and bustle of this stage of life--it all comes down to being intentional. What do we want to accomplish as a family? What are the values we are trying to instill in our children and how are we going about that? How are J and I encouraging each other in our marriage? How am I pursuing God? How am I cultivating my relationships with others? Somehow, those big, major questions were lost in the weekly and monthly shuffles of activity--somewhere between Print a year's worth of digital photos, Plan meals for the week, Go through mail, Send in application, Complete paperwork, Make appts. for children. . . .
Over the past years, as I have gotten older and have two children of my own, I've been especially struck with the importance of being intentional with family. I remember my grandmother (my dad's mom) writing to me when I was in college, telling me bits and pieces of her young adulthood and what she did, where she went, etc. I loved spending time with my grandma, loved being in her home, loved her cooking--but I wish I had spent more time as I grew up talking to her, not just about the frivolous things, but about her, her family, her childhood, my relatives. . . my heritage.
And, now I feel that same way about my parents. I want to soak up their words and learn about their younger years, their way of life, what they loved to do. Not too long ago, when I was home for a visit, my mom and I drove by her old house where she lived during her junior high school years. She drove me on the route she used to take when she walked to school with her sister. As we drove, we talked, and I remember at one point looking out the window and asking, "Were you still--" As if my mom knew exactly what I was going to ask, her answer was, "I was still walking here." And we had probably already driven a good mile or 1.5 miles already--one way!
Or, a few years ago during the Christmas holiday, J and I sat in my mom's basement and looked through her scrapbook from elementary school all the way through college. How fun to see pictures that my mom drew at the young age of 8, to study her penmanship and read her precious thoughts as a child, and to admire pictures of her smiling with a group of high school friends.
A few years ago, I was able to go through a lot of photographs of my dad when he was a little boy. I loved it. I loved seeing those black and white pictures of him, with his cowboy hat on, or a football clutched under his arm or posing next to my grandmother. I wish I could press play on a tape recorder and hear my dad describe those pictures--where he was, what he was doing, how much that football cost not to mention an ice cream cone. . .
Those are the things I want to be intentional about--cataloging my family's history, learning about my relatives. And, spending time with them now. One of our dear, dear family friends used to always tell my mom when I was little, "It's later than you think." I can appreciate that comment even more now.
I know that the everyday things have to happen---making the pb&j sandwiches, folding the laundry, sorting through the mail and taking care of paperwork, driving to appointments--but I am trying to be more intentional, more purposeful about the things that last. People. Relationships.
So, when Carly runs into the kitchen at 7 pm (when I'm doing dishes and trying to finish the kitchen clean-up) and says, "Mommy, come dance with me!!"--instead of always saying "Just a minute, honey, I need to finish this," I'm learning to leave the dishes stacked in the sink and do what's most important.
Comments
I loved reading these words from you. Loved, loved, loved it.
So, amen, and you go, girl!
Joanne
S. Wolfe